This is the sad story of how Debu’s 4 year old hostel life came to an untimely end.
It was the morning after the Roger Waters concert. Yeah that’s right. The one I missed. Remind me never to trust the press for a free pass. Anyway, I spent a sleepless night getting jealous of Debu and Dawg and finally hit the sack at five, when all of a sudden the Mortal Kombat ringtone woke me up.
Shit. Someone calling at 8 on a holiday. (number unknown).
Me: Hello (very sleepy)
Caller: Hello. This is Debu’s father speaking. Is Debu there?
Shit!!! What do I do? I knew Debu’s story and mine should match later or he is screwed. Damn!!! Of all the things to deal with when you were sleepy, this was the most difficult.Thankfully due to years of training with the very best in the business, I instantly realized what I had to do. Stall for time.
Me: Hello…….. Hello……… Uncle I can’t hear you………. Battery is low…………. (hung up and
switched off the cell)
Call from landline on Dawg’s landline, praying Debu is there
Dawg: Hello (sleepy) . Who the fuck is this?
Me: Your grandfather, brothel-born. Is Debu there?
Dawg: Not now yaar, we are sleeping.
Me: You better wake up and give Debu a kick on the ass
and get him on the line.
By now Dawg, also a fellow trainee, realized something was up and woke Debu up
Me: Screw the hello. Dude your Dad just called and he is asking about you. where do I tell
him you are? Do I tell him you are at Dawg’s place?
Debu: No don’t tell him that. Tell him that we came to your house after the concert and left
late. Debu went to the hostel and Dawg went home. Tell him I am in college attending
Me: What? Will he buy that? What if he calls someone at the hostel?
Debu: He would have already called my room partner. I will tell him I had a fight with my
room partner and that I slept in someone else’s room.
Man I was impressed. This guy could lie.
Me: Alrite. Be it on your own head then.
I switched on my cell and almost immediately got a phone call from Mr. B
Mr. B: Hello. Rohit. Beta can you tell me where Debu is?
I faithfully conveyed what debu had told me to tell him and Mr. B asked me if I had Dawg’s landline number coz his cell was switched off. I gave it to him and knew Debu and Dawg would handle things
A few minutes later, Mr. B called back.
Me : Hello uncle. Talked to Debu?
Mr. B: Yes beta. He is in college. He was attending extra lectures as you said. How come you
are at home?
Me: Uncle uh………actually…………. I got up late. That’s why……..
Mr. B: That is ok beta. It happens sometimes. I wanted to thank you for helping me find Debu.
He did not call yesterday after the concert and his mother and I were worried. Now we
know he has good friends to take care of him. (How right he was)
I mumbled something and hung up. To say I was feeling guilty as hell, would be putting it mildly.
I don’t really know what transpired on Debu’s visit home after that close shave, but I got to know that Debu told his dad that he won the tickets to the concert at some quiz in Thakur college (hah!!!) and when Mr. B called Hesti to ask him about the quiz, Hesti told him they didn’t win anything. Anyway Mr. B caught him on that and everything came out.
To think Debu would have been home free if he had told his dad that Dawg got the tickets as a birthday present (which was the truth………. Really…….. I swear to God.) He had to go and lie and get caught. Anyways after a lot of noise which shook Dahanu, Mr. B came to the conclusion that staying in a hostel had spoilt Debu beyond measure, and that he would buy a flat in Mumbai asap.
There was also the matter of an inflated phone bill and a certain phone number, to which calls were made at ungodly hours……. but fearing for my life, I will not go into details of that particular episode.
The Debu episode ended with the unforgetable line :
” Tum to haraamkhor ho hi, saath mein tumhaare do dost bhi haraamkhor hain.”
Well as Debu learnt, all good things must come to an end.
(As does this rather complex post).